Cancer is the sign of the Crab

Cat's Eye Nebula

For this sign I’ve chosen The Cats Eye Nebula

This sign is: Water

Whether it’s an old plastic bottle, an old lover, an old house, an old belief, an old memory, Cancer hangs on. One of your strongest urges is the urge for security, and security usually means clinging to the past. It’s an emotional motivation, not a practical one. Beneath the Crab’s tenacious penchant for not letting go of anything lies one of the most sensitive and vulnerable of all the zodiac signs. Moon-ruled, your apparently solid and conservative nature is perpetually washed by a cyclical ebb and flow of moods, desires, feelings, fantasies, dreams, fears and intuitions.

Yes, conservative. You Cancers know all about conservation. You’ll carefully nurture and protect those tender feelings and creative imaginings beneath a bristling fortified wall of multiple bank accounts, share certificates, insurance policies, old photographs, family traditions, childhood friendships, and sometimes a super-rational attitude which appears to reject everything that lies on the invisible side of life.

Cancers are closet mystics, with poetry in their soul and the light of distant, dimly lit horizons in their eyes. Admittedly, not a lot of people may know that about you, and maybe you don’t even know it about yourself. Except when the Moon changes phases and those secret dreams and imaginings rise up with the ebb and flow of the tide.

Yours is traditionally the sign of the family. That doesn’t mean every Cancer wants, or should have, a family in the conventional sense. But a feeling of continuity with the past is terribly important for you. With roots firmly in the ground, you can indulge your wandering instinct, because there’s something to come back to. And Crabs never move directly toward what they want. They circumambulate. “What, me? Interested in that? Don’t be silly.” But when you grab for the prize and those pincers close, you don’t let go.

You dislike analysing motives, especially your own. You intuitively avoid possible rejection and humiliation – hence the often misread coolness which you present in situations where you feel vulnerable. But you’re not cool, just intensely self-protective.

It’s been said that Cancers are manipulative. This is absolutely true. You generally get what you want quietly and diplomatically, and half the time other people don’t even realise you wanted it. Maybe sometimes you don’t even realise yourself, until you’ve got there.

It’s also been said about Cancer that the right hand often doesn’t know what the left hand is doing. Of course you know, deep down. It’s just that things are easier when they’re dimly lit by the light of the Moon, not exposed for all to see in the harsh light of the noonday Sun.

Cancer is a water sign, with a gift for working subtly with feelings. Yes, you know how to use manipulation – atmospheres, hints, innuendoes, subtle ways of inducing guilt – to keep your loved ones close. The negative side of this is a propensity to employ emotional blackmail. But the positive side is a wonderful ability to guide and nurture without invasiveness. And behind even the most subtle of emotional ploys is your powerful need to be needed.

Your sensitivity, gentleness, shrewdness and delicacy can be beautifully expressed not only in the caring professions, but in business, family life, or a work of art. Although you need people, and need to be needed by them, you also long to retreat into solitude from time to time. It’s those lunar phases again.

Sometimes you simply have to withdraw in order to refresh your spirits and commune with those boundless imaginative depths. But you also need a lot of closeness and reassurance, and a cold atmosphere can be almost physically painful for you when you want to be close to someone.

Yours is a complex personality. You’re instinctively secretive, yet always compassionate and responsive to others’ unhappiness. You’re capable of being snappish and irritable when the mood is on you, yet you’re also able to brim over with joy, warmth, and sheer wild unbridled fun. Sometimes Cancers have to wait a long time before their real creative potential is realised. But the creative fruit you’ll bring forth is worth waiting and working for.

The Cancer Man…

It may sound simplistic to say that all Cancer men are mother-bound. But it would come close to the truth. This man is tied, one way or another -in love or in hate, and often in both – to Mother. It’s his biggest test in life and in love. He can either embody Mother himself and express a wealth of empathy and protectiveness, or he can look for a mother all his life.

Cancer is a sign of fertile imagination and deep emotional needs. They don’t like to stand alone. Cancer men are often eternally searching for that nurturing, protecting partner who will always forgive and understand them – especially if they didn’t find it in childhood.

You might well ask, Why not? What’s wrong with that? Nothing, of course. But in each man’s unconscious, buried deep within him, is the myth of the Hero. How can a hero keep running back to Mummy for comfort and understanding? The mother-son bond is one of the most difficult things Cancer must contend with in life.

Cancer men often marry young – that is, if they aren’t secret mother-haters. The mother-haters usually marry very late, if at all. They’re afraid of women and avoid commitment. But this is a distorted kind of Cancer, a Cancer on the run from his own emotional dependency. There are lots of Crabs running around with extra-hard shells and hyper- rational attitudes, never letting you – or themselves – see the vulnerable, imaginative person underneath. If you probe, they snap at you.

The Cancer man may settle down by the time he’s twenty-five – although, given the complexity of his nature, it may not be his last port of call. This man makes a wonderfully loving father – as long as he’s not jealous of the mothering his children receive. But sadly, if he makes a commitment too young, he may find later that he made it because he needed security, and not because his deeper feelings were really touched. Like good wine, the Cancer man’s understanding of himself deepens and improves with maturity.

This man appreciates a strong partner – as long as “strong” doesn’t mean you don’t need him. His moods and anxieties need to be understood, although you’re not required to tolerate them with a perpetually sweet smile. Engage with him emotionally, even if it’s with anger, and he’ll respond. Although he recoils from real separation, he can wander – emotionally if not physically – if the mood is on him.

The up side is that he’ll always come back again. If he wanders physically, the big question is whether you want him when he does come home again. That’s up to you, of course. But if he knows he’s hurt you, he’s likely to do everything in his power to avoid doing it again.

It helps to understand that, for a man, this is a sign with a lot of innate conflict. Sensitivity and imagination don’t mix with society’s macho expectations. Did I hear you say times have changed, women (and men) are liberated, etc.? Maybe in the world’s big cosmopolitan cities. But most of the rest of the world hasn’t heard yet.

It’s still hard for this moody, introverted, changeable, imaginative man to feel entirely secure being himself. He always wears camouflage. Cancer’s two best camouflages are the hard rational thinker and the jolly extrovert. Don’t be fooled by either of them – they’re just a mood. To live so close to the forces and currents of the inner imaginal and emotional world is a great challenge for a Cancer man. Here lies the source of his greatest creativity, but it can take a long time – and some painful experiences – for his gifts to fully emerge.

The Cancer man is never an easy partner. He’s too complex. He can be evasive and indirect, and the deeper the problem, the less likely you are to hear about it. He can be sulky and crabby one moment, effusively sentimental the next. Even when he’s wearing that hyper-rational mask and pretends to be clear and logical, he’s elusive and mysterious, and you’ll never really get to the bottom of his secret soul. But most of all, this man has an incredible depth and array of feeling, and he’s deeply, richly, stunningly alive.

Tough-guy tactics don’t mix with Cancer’s tenderness and subtle form of strength and courage, so be prepared for a partner who is as able to be helpless and vulnerable as he is to be protective and tenacious. And who wants tough-guy tactics anyway?

Who is the Cancer man?

He is your dream lover. Wistfully gazing into your eyes. So intuitive, you’ll wonder if he’s reading your mind. A smile that reminds you of the first boy you ever kissed. He’s got a spirit of adventure, plus a great sense of  humor. And when you’re the one he’s in love with, you can expect his love to last for your entire lifetime.
His faithfulness is one of his perfections. But don’t mistake his gentleness as a sign of weakness…
He’s all male (totally and utterly). He can be like a hammer in a velvet glove.
He flirts and fantasizes just like any other red-blooded male – he’s just smarter and he does it when you are not looking.   If you want to capture his heart, show him that you are loyal, loving and a great listener. He wants to be soothed, lulled, understood, encouraged, and most importantly… you have to be strong enough to survive his emotional storms.
He’s a man of many moods… They shift, change, vary and swing between extremes like a pendulum. Today he might be moody and poetic. Tomorrow he be can logical and emotionally unavailable. Tonight he might make love to you like you were a rare precious flower, and tomorrow he could ambush you in the kitchen, throw you to the floor and ravish you like a man driven wild by a thousand days of abstinence.
A life of domestic bliss with a domestic goddess. He wants more than a sexual partner. He wants a woman he can create a beautiful home with. He wants a life where family, love, and romance all find harmony under the same roof.

The Cancer Woman…

There are two kinds of Cancer women: those who are Mother, and those who are eternal girls. Sometimes you find both in one. Cancer is often the epitome of enigmatic femaleness: intuitive, moody, alternatively loving and cruel, shrewd yet childlike, unpredictable, gentle, capable of surprising ruthlessness, and ultimately full of mystery. But don’t think, because she can cook with wonderful flair and creativity, that she’s domesticated. Or that, because she likes children, she necessarily wants children of her own, or has no other goal in life than making you happy.

Cancer women can be driving, ambitious, ruthless, shrewd, and capable of running large corporations with ease. Admittedly, many tend to live their ambitions through their partner or children. That’s because lots of Cancer women like playing Mother.

They have a marvellous gift for creating a warm, loving atmosphere, and dealing with all the bruises, physical or emotional, which their loved ones incur. This domestic face of Cancer heals, nurtures and supports. But deep inside is another face: wild, strong, solitary, full of emotional storms, and essentially primitive, like Nature itself.

Some Cancer women show this archaic side by seeing their partners as children to be cosseted, loved, possessed and remodelled. A relationship with this kind of Cancer woman can be frightening, but it’s a great challenge. If you are always treated like a child, you will remain one.

Standing up to the Great Mother and earning her respect can lead to a wonderfully dynamic, passionate, constantly stimulating love. This dark aspect of the sign fascinates, attracts and repels. Sometimes it only comes out at the Full Moon. But safe and domesticated it isn’t. If you really want a placid, unconditionally loving Mummy, think again. The cooking may be great, but you need to understand and respect the woman.

First and foremost, the Cancer woman must create. Sometimes her creativity is expressed through the bearing of children. But by mid-life, if this has been her chosen path, she may suffer from a deep crisis of identity. Who am I? What is my own life about? This is the greatest challenge life holds for the Cancer woman. In a sense, her real life doesn’t begin until this stage of the journey. The first part of life is often bound up with home and family and loved ones, but later on, the world must become larger and the family bigger and no longer linked only by blood ties.

Many Cancer women make excellent teachers, counsellors, therapists and public relations people. Their natural empathy, tact, compassion and ability to read the unspoken feelings of others makes them excel in any sphere where they need to deal with people. Highly imaginative, they may also have rare talent in one of the arts, but equally their intuitive minds can equip them to work in financial and technological spheres which require an imaginative and intuitive grasp of complex ideas.

The creativity of the Cancer woman must extend to spheres other than the biological. If she has no creative outlet for her gifts, she can sink into a smouldering resentment which she may not even be aware of herself, but which can result in some pretty dark and difficult moods. She needs to be needed, but she also needs to give creative shape to the imaginative depths within her.

The real richness of the Cancer woman’s soul shows itself most truly after thirty-five. It is a slow-maturing sign. Crabs don’t race like greyhounds. They move slowly, sideways, never straight ahead. The Cancer woman, often more oyster-like than crablike, may take half a lifetime to grow her pearl – her creative vision, her wisdom about human nature, and the depth of her love for people and life.

You are among the people most likely to cry after making love. Why? Because Cancers are among the most emotional and sentimental people in the Zodiac. Secretly, people wonder… are you real – or are you really a fairytale princess come to life? So soft and so sensual, you are like a slice of sunlight brightening up every room you walk into.Your sweet smiles, graceful ways and expressive eyes make you look staggeringly beautiful. You are a joy to watch on the dance floor.

You glide when you move and when you laugh it sounds like a thousand violins gone wild. Your eyes reveal so much about you… your richness of emotions, hopes, joys, passions and insecurities. You long for protection. Your shell is that secret place you retreat to. You don’t like mean and you don’t do ugly.

Perceptive, Intuitive and Insightful.
You have the ability to absorb nuances quickly. You are able to see deeper into the core of things than most others. You can peer into the hearts of people and discern their inner thoughts, longings and secret desires.
More sentimental than any other sign, you probably have a secret closet or a hidden treasure chest filled with mementos pictures, notes, letters, and other keepsakes from your past. In your world, love, sex and romance co-exist happily.
Soft, Persuasive, Alluring and Eternally Feminine. Your passion waits like sleeping beauty for the right kiss, right words, the right the right man, and the right moment. Once your passions are aroused they take you on giant roller coaster ride through a landscape rich with emotions, beauty and feelings.

Cancer Lover

Cancer is ruled by the Moon – the planet of deep emotions, and hence, Cancerians can be quite emotional, more so than any of the other signs. Their focus is mainly on their home and family, which includes their partner and their sex life, as well as the past.  Cancers remember everything you’ve ever done and can use it against you if you’re not careful.  They’re fixers.  Even if there’s nothing to fix.  And they can sense if there’s something not quite right in their sex life.  Even if there’s nothing wrong. But don’t tell them there’s nothing wrong.  If you love them, let them fix it.  “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” means nothing to Cancer.

Cancers are extremely sensitive and love to play out their fantasies.  Many of them like to be ravished, as long as they’re sure that you love them.  Cancers love to have their breasts and chest stroked.  So focus on these areas in foreplay to pleasure your Cancer.  Historical role play whets their sexual appetites.  Play the rogue pirate to their damsel in distress while showing them how much you love them and you’ve wooed them for life.

Cancer with Aries…

Cancer is a water sign and Aries a fire sign, and together they can make a pretty steamy atmosphere in the best and worst senses of the word. You’re both romantic and imaginative, and together the two of you can weave the most glorious dreams and conjure the most magical emotional landscapes.

Cancer’s sensitivity and tact can give gentle support to Aries’ constantly changing plans. Aries’ courage and confidence can make all those Cancerian worries vanish – at least for a while.

But conflicts are bound to arise at times because both signs like to have their own way. This works fine if there is agreement about the way. But if there is a difference in objectives, Aries can bruise Cancer’s sensitivity with a pushy, impatient kind of directness. On the other hand, Cancer can depress Aries with moods, emotional atmospheres and a refusal to engage in honest discussion.

Try to respect each other’s goals even if they are different, and learn to find a balance between aggressive confrontation and tearful martyrdom. With tolerance and tenderness, you could help each other to make those romantic dreams real.

Cancer with Taurus…

This combination could bring out the gentlest and most sensuous qualities in both of you. It could also bring out a lot of discussion about money, security, and what kind of home life you both want. However wild your youthful behaviour might be or have been, both of you secretly long for security and a beautiful place in which you can share intimate moments and enjoy the good things of life.

Through each other you might discover a strong desire for a family, and you might also discover that you are more conventional and concerned about being “respectable” than either of you had realised.

Taurus’ earthy calm gives a feeling of safety and stability to Cancer’s anxieties and volatile moods. Cancer’s empathy and imaginative ability to enter into another person’s inner world makes Taurus feel cherished, understood and loved.

Enjoy all that you share, and build that nest which matters so much to both of you. But try not to become so insulated and safety-conscious that you let the more unpredictable joys of life pass you by. Change can be good for both of you, however much you might protest.

Cancer with Gemini…

Watery Cancer and airy Gemini can meet to create one of those wonderfully creative landscapes of sea and sky. Gemini is flexible and open-minded, and can introduce Cancer to many different world-views, ideas, and contacts. Cancer is affectionate and sensitive, and can show Gemini the delights of a stable domestic life.

But beware of the demon of jealousy and its inevitable accompaniment, the demon of escapism. Cancer can easily feel rejected by Gemini’s interest in others and coolness in emotional matters. Therefore, the Cancerian can resort to emotional manipulation to get the necessary reassurance.

Gemini can easily feel invaded by Cancer’s need for emotional reassurance and lack of directness, and can resort to evasiveness to get the necessary space and distance.

Try not to polarise between mind and feelings. You both have lively, curious minds which need stimulation, but you both also need warmth, affection, and loyalty.

Don’t project your own unconscious needs on each other. Cancer needs to give Gemini lots of freedom of movement, and Gemini needs to respond sensitively to Cancer’s emotional requests.

Cancer with Cancer…

You are both creatures of deep feeling and imagination. Both of you need a secure home base and are highly sensitive to changes in mood and atmosphere. You can be incredibly close and compassionate, loving and affectionate. Family life is likely to be very important to both of you, and this could be one of the strongest threads in your bond. You can share a deep interest in each other’s past, but don’t forget to look at the future together.

You can be extremely gentle, protective, and sensitive to each other’s needs. This could mean that you can offer each other a lot of healing and containment. You know how to “mother” each other very well. But you may also need to learn how to be children.

Dark moods can spoil pleasant times together, and worries and anxieties -many based not on reality but on fantasy – can interfere with confidence and hope for the future.

And you can both be extremely possessive, but you need breathing space as well – even though neither of you is comfortable asking for it because both of you hate direct emotional confrontations. Evasiveness can breed mutual unexpressed resentment. Learn to communicate about important issues between you.

Cancer with Leo…

In many ways the two of you are complementary. Watery Cancer’s subtlety, sensitivity, and innate shyness are nicely balanced by fiery Leo’s dramatic individualism. And because both of you have a deep need to protect those you love, you could offer a great deal of warmth, loyalty, affection, and support to each other.

Leo is confident enough to weather Cancer’s moods and withdrawals, and Cancer is empathetic enough to accept Leo’s displays of egocentricity. You can both be highly emotional, and both of you like regular reassurance that you’re loved and wanted. Family life is likely to be important to both of you, but the same may be true for creative work.

On the practical level there may be some difficulties. Cancer, although not especially materialistic, does worry about security a lot, while Leo often overextends. Leo is often full of grand schemes, while Cancer is often reluctant to rock the boat.

Cancer may need to learn not to dampen Leo’s enthusiasm with worries, while Leo may need to learn to consider others’ feelings.

This could be a wonderfully warm, loving bond, provided you don’t try to control each other. Mutual respect will bring the best out of both of you.

Cancer with Virgo…

In some ways this is an ideal combination, because earthy, orderly Virgo can offer containment and understanding while watery, affectionate Cancer can offer warmth and emotional nourishment. Both of you like security, and you may share a love of the past, and an orderly and beautiful domestic environment. Neither of you likes to take too many risks, emotionally or materially, and you are both compassionate people who may be tenderly caring of each other. Both of you have the qualities of a good caretaker, even if you lead a busy professional life.

You are more likely than many couples to make the effort to really understand each other. However, some problems may arise from Virgo’s need for clearly defined boundaries and lots of privacy. But Cancer needs emotional closeness, and likes lots of sharing. Cancer’s moodiness and indirectness can be irritating to Virgo’s love of calmness and clarity, and Virgo’s sometimes ferocious self-containment can be hurtful to Cancer’s need for emotional intimacy.

But even with this area of potential conflict, both of you have a great willingness to understand how others feel and think. And that can create a strong and enduring bond.

Cancer with Libra…

This is an attraction of very different natures. The one thing you have in common is a desire to have your own way. But because both of you know the value of compromise, constant negotiations rather than wild fights are likely to be the result.

Airy Libra needs clarity, logic, and civilised interaction. Watery Cancer needs closeness, affection, and appreciation of the emotional flow between you. Cancer can thaw Libra’s emotional restraint, and Libra can help Cancer to find a more detached perspective on life.

You could well team up to work together on creative projects or business ventures which require both cool analysis and the warm human touch.

But if you polarise mind and feelings, you can easily fall into difficulties. Cancer is sensitive and can feel rejected by a cool atmosphere. Libra is idealistic and longs for harmony, and can feel stifled by too many emotional demands.

Try to appreciate the differences between you, and make an effort to speak the other’s language rather than trying to change each other to fit your image of an ideal partner. As long as you can strive for understanding a nature very different from your own, you have an enormous amount to offer each other.

Cancer with Scorpio…

Cancer and Scorpio are both water signs, and both can be extremely intense. Your sensitivity and emotionality allow you to appreciate the importance of human relationships. And you have an empathy with each other which rarely needs words to be expressed.

Both of you place a high value on constancy and both of you can be possessive, but this is not likely to cause the kind of problems it might in other relationships because you can understand each other’s concerns and anxieties.

Sometimes you may overdo the “Love is never having to say you’re sorry” approach, and you may need to recognise that some things have to be spoken of openly and articulated. Otherwise quiet resentment can accrue and spoil what could be a wonderfully warm and close relationship.

Objectivity and perspective are attributes you both might do well to cultivate more wholeheartedly, as the sensitivity and pride in both of you can easily overreact to imagined as well as real hurts. You have an enormous amount of insight, warmth, affection and emotional support to give each other. Make sure it’s occasionally spiced with adventure and mental stimulation too.

Cancer with Saggitarius…

You are so unalike that you are fascinated by each other. Watery Cancer, flowing in a personal world of feelings and imaginings, finds Sagittarius’ grand quest for understanding life’s bigger questions baffling. Fiery Sagittarius, on an endless adventure where the horizon keeps shifting, finds Cancer’s anxious emotionality perplexing.

Cancer can help Sagittarius to ground vision and make a commitment to real creative productivity, while Sagittarius can help Cancer to be more confident, open-minded, and optimistic about the future.

But the two of you need to appreciate and respect each other’s very different visions of life. Cancer, although imaginative and restless, needs a secure home base and emotional reassurance. Sagittarius, although capable of constancy, needs breathing space and independence. Try not to fall into the archetypal closeness-freedom battle.

Cancer needs to avoid becoming possessive, and Sagittarius needs to avoid becoming insensitive to others’ feelings. You are both highly imaginative and intuitive; use your intuition to imagine how the other feels. This can help to bring out the best in this intense, lively, and potentially enormous combination.

Cancer with Capricorn…

This is a meeting of opposites, but the two of you are united in one sphere: you both need security, stability, and a solid domestic life as a base for your individual creative efforts. Family life is likely to be important to both of you. Together you can make your worldly goals manifest and build a lasting bond which nothing can break.

Watery Cancer can help to thaw Capricorn’s stiff reserve and reluctance to express feelings, while earthy Capricorn can offer structure and solidity to Cancer’s imaginative dreams.

It is in the emotional sphere that the two of you are likely to encounter your greatest difficulties. You may find that Cancer’s need for emotional security feels like possessiveness to Capricorn, while Capricorn’s need for boundaries feels like rejection to Cancer.

Try not to get into manipulative games where each of you tries to control the relationship, either emotionally or through the use of money. Neither of you likes to abandon your deepest goals, but compromise will be required of both of you because your perspectives on life are so opposite. If you can avoid the trap of power-plays, you have an enormous amount to offer each other.

Cancer with Aquarius…

The two of you are so wildly different that you are bound to be fascinated with each other. Watery Cancer needs closeness and a feeling of being needed. Airy Aquarius needs space and a feeling of independence within a relationship. Cancer can offer Aquarius warmth and affection which don’t need explanations. Aquarius can offer Cancer new ideas and an awareness of a much bigger world to explore.

Articulating things logically can help Cancer to maintain emotional balance, and trusting instincts can help Aquarius feel more in touch with deeper feelings.

But Cancer can easily feel hurt by Aquarius’ detachment, while Aquarius can easily feel claustrophobic in the face of Cancer’s emotional needs. Cancer needs to learn to willingly give breathing space, and Aquarius needs to learn to express feelings more honestly.

Be careful of misinterpreting each other because your communication styles are so different. Aquarius wants rational explanations, while Cancer tends to communicate subtly and indirectly. If you make the effort to understand each other’s language, you have a lot to give to each other. And provided you respect your differences, you can each help the other to become more whole.

Cancer with Pisces…

Both of you are born under water signs, and the emotional exchange between you is likely to be deep, empathetic and subtle. Neither of you is afraid of deep emotion, and both of you have a great tolerance for each other’s weaknesses.

Together you can create a wonderful bond of warmth, affection, and a powerful understanding which does not require explanations. You could also offer each other a great deal of creative inspiration, and shared creative projects or artistic interests could help to strengthen your bond.

You may need to pay attention to the issues of possessiveness and communication. Both of you are capable of deep love and constancy. But Cancer can become very jealous if Pisces’ natural empathy for people appears a little too interested. Pisces, on the other hand, may play helpless in order to keep Cancer “available”.

Both of you are good at pushing guilt-buttons, and you need to learn to be more honest about your feelings. Even though you don’t think that words can convey what you want, they can help you to avoid emotional game-playing. Moods and atmospheres will always be part of your interchange, but you also need detachment and a willingness to talk things through.